


Birthday Things.

by jumbled_sentiment



Series: you, your sex is on fire [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Cute, Established Relationship, M/M, slightly sexual themes (nothing graphic just banter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumbled_sentiment/pseuds/jumbled_sentiment
Summary: Magnus held his hands up and thankfully kept his voice low. “I won’t get you anything sex related.”“That wasn’t the issue!” Alec scolded, managing to be stern even when hushed. “The issue is saying that while we’re at work. It’s inappropriate.”“Oh, so I can buy you a sex toy, as long as I don’t talk about it while we’re at work?” Magnus whispered.The blush that began to spread across Alec’s face irritated him more than Magnus’ words themselves. “What? No, that’s not what– I didn’t say that!” he spluttered.//Part of a series but can easily be read as a stand-alone.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: you, your sex is on fire [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754860
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Birthday Things.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday today so I wrote this. It's extremely random but it made me giggle, I hope it does the same for you.
> 
> Fun fact: the email between Alec and Magnus was an actual email that I sent to my mum a few weeks ago, after a very similar conversation took place between us (minus certain aspects that will become obvious as you read).

“What on earth are you talking about, Alexander?” Magnus demanded. “Don’t be so preposterous!” 

“Shh, Magnus!” Alec hissed, darting his eyes around the office in horror. “People are trying to work!” 

Magnus paid absolutely no mind, waving a hand in dismissal and continuing at probably an even more heightened volume. “Nobody’s working, Alexander. They’ve all been ‘checking emails’ for the past half an hour.” 

Hanging his head, Alec let out a mortified groan. If Magnus hadn’t put that last remark in air quotations, he probably wouldn’t have minded, but as it was, they’d garnered one too many irritated glares for Alec to handle. Coward and Purchase had been on a business lunch for the past three hours. It wouldn’t surprise a single one of them if the bosses had simply decided to call it a day and head home. Clearly, that fact was reflected in the atmosphere of the place; incredibly lax and with those who were at least pretending to be busy doing more than most. Even so, everybody still had the decency not to outwardly discuss the blatant skiving. Everybody except Magnus, that was. 

Finally, though, Magnus did pay mind to Alec’s complete humiliation and lower his voice to something more conducive to a private conversation. “Seriously, Alec. There is absolutely no way that I’m not buying you a birthday present.” 

“Why, though? I haven’t celebrated it for years. There’s nothing I need!” Alec insisted. 

Magnus tutted. “Don’t be so boring. You don’t have to need something to want it. Don’t tell me that Izzy and Jace never buy you birthday presents?” 

“Jace doesn’t, I don’t for him either,” Alec said, before begrudgingly admitting, “Izzy does though.” He sighed, scooting his chair slightly closer now that Magnus had lowered his voice. “She refuses to bypass the whole thing like I always tell her to.” 

“Ha, there you go. So, if Izzy buys you a present, I’m buying you one too,” he declared. Sliding a pad of paper and a pen over to Alec, he added, “Right, here you go,” and turned back to his desk. 

Alec frowned. “What am I supposed to do with this?” 

“Well, that’s your list,” Magnus explained. “Just write some things on there that you want.” 

“Magnus,” he scoffed. “I’m not making you a list.” Pointedly, he slid the pen and paper back to the other side of the desk. “You’re not Santa.” 

“So what? You can still make me a list!” 

“Jesus, how much are you buying? You can’t get me more than one thing Magnus,” he warned. “That’s non-negotiable. If you do then I’ll slip you money for the rest when you’re not looking.” 

Magnus held both hands up, dry smirk on his face. “Fine, _dad_. One gift and one gift only.” He picked up the pen and twirled it between his fingers absently. “What does Isabelle normally get you?” 

Alec shrugged, pulling against the collar of his shirt. “Different stuff all the time. One year she got me a vintage Led Zeppelin shirt and an ACDC one that had been split and reworked into one, which was actually really cool.” 

“Oh, I’ve seen you wear that before!” Magnus exclaimed. “I never knew that’s what it was!” He shook his head, clearly berating himself for never having asked about what was properly the most interesting article of clothing in Alec’s wardrobe. “That’s awesome. Isabelle has good taste.” 

“Mhmm,” Alec agreed. “She does. Pretty sure she bought it for herself though,” he laughed. “Then found out it was too big and gave it to me.” 

Magnus grinned. “Well, I did buy myself a black mesh t-shirt the other day that happens to be rather big on me too...” 

“Don’t you dare,” Alec warned. “You better not get me something outrageous.” 

“How on earth is a mesh shirt outrageous? Fair enough, if I’d gotten you a black dild–” 

“Magnus!” Alec flung himself across the desk in an attempt to clasp his hand over Magnus’ mouth. “You can’t say that!” 

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Magnus held his hands up and thankfully kept his voice low. “I won’t get you anything sex related.” 

“That wasn’t the issue!” Alec scolded, managing to be stern even when hushed. “The issue is saying that while we’re at work. It’s inappropriate.” 

“Oh, so I can buy you a sex toy, as long as I don’t talk about it while we’re at work?” Magnus whispered. 

The blush that began to spread across Alec’s face irritated him more than Magnus’ words themselves. “What? No, that’s not what– I didn’t say that!” he spluttered. 

His frustration only grew in time with the width of Magnus’ grin. “Well, you didn’t explicitly say that, but it was heavily implied,” Magnus pointed out. He snatched up the pen from where he'd previously discarded it and scribbled ‘Alexander’s present ideas’ on the top of a clean page. Then, casting a cursory glance over to Alec, he penned a number one and began to sketch a long vertical line in the centre of the page. Alec’s brow furrowed as he watched, unable to put his finger on why Magnus’ smirk was so mischievous. The penny dropped as Magnus drew a second line parallel to the first and began to join them together in the middle. 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” Alec laughed. “You can’t be serious?” 

“Deadly,” Magnus replied. Continuing with his illustration, he finished connecting the two lines before extending it around and upwards, circling back to the beginning to create an oval-like shape. Looking far too proud of himself, he then added a small line downwards from the centre of the oval and added two circular shapes on either side of the parallel lines. 

“Magnus, you cannot seriously be drawing a fucking dildo in your notepad right now,” Alec whispered. “Seriously, stop that!” he hissed as Magnus began adding smaller squiggles running up and down in between the two first lines. 

“Detail is key, Alexander.” His tone was far too jovial for Alec’s liking who reached out to pull the pad from under Magnus’ fingers, but he wasn’t quick enough. “Hey,” Magnus chastised. “I’ve put a lot of work into this!” 

Alec couldn’t help but laugh, ignoring the bemused stares from various suits around the office. “I had no idea you were so childish.” 

“I wouldn’t expect a child to draw something this accurate,” Magnus remarked. 

“I will let you buy me as many presents as you want if you close that and shut up.” 

Magnus’ head jerked up, eyeing Alec suspiciously. “Really?” 

“No,” he said. “But I’ll let you buy me one.” 

“I was going to buy you one anyway,” Magnus argued. 

“Yeah, before you started doing... whatever this is,” Alec said. “If you stop right now then I’ll still let you buy me one.” 

“If I don’t?” 

Alec held his gaze. “Guess.” 

“Uhh,” Magnus moaned. “Fine.” With a roll of his eyes, the notebook was slammed shut and dropped safely into his desk. 

Alec smirked. “Wasn’t so hard now was it?” 

“Don’t get cheeky,” Magnus warned. “But, anyway, back to this one gift I’m allowed to buy you. I can think of plenty things, but since I’ve been so cruelly limited,” he sent a pointed stare Alec’s way, “is there anything in particular you want?” 

“Other than vinyl, not really.” 

“Okay, so will you make me a list of records that you want then? I’ll buy you a few of those for your collection,” he offered. 

Incredulous, Alec responded, “Magnus, a few? We literally just agreed to one!” 

Magnus frowned. “Yes, but a few of the same thing is still only one thing, really.” 

“What the hell kind of logic is that?” he demanded. 

“My logic,” Magnus grinned. “Come on,” he persuaded. “Let me buy you a few. It’s the least I can do!” 

“The least you can– Jesus. No, I’ll make you a list, but you can only buy one,” Alec ordered. “If you get more than one, I’ll be paying you back. Okay?” 

Magnus hesitated, until it was decidedly clear that Alec was not going to relent. “Fine,” he moaned. “One.” 

“Right, great.” 

“Great.” 

Not wasting any time, Alec pushed his chair back over to his side of the desk to get started on his list. It turned out to be more fun than he’d anticipated, certainly more fun than he had any right having at work. He added in the prices, the titles and the links that would take Magnus directly to the listings. The only frustrating part was that it reminded him of just how many of his favourite records would probably never be in his collection. There were only 150 pressings of Mild Orange’s electric blue ‘Foreplay’ record, meaning that one of the lucky swines who’d grabbed one in the original drop was now reselling it for $113 with $20 shipping. Judging by the amount of interest, Alec could easily purchase it, keep it unopened and in mint condition only to resell it years later for an even more outrageous price. The issue was, as much of a collector as Alec was, he was also a consumer. He could perfectly understand the mindset of people who would purchase a limited-edition vinyl and keep it safely locked away for years on end, but he himself simply couldn’t do that. If he was to buy that vinyl, the first thing he would do was remove the packaging and play it, and there was a large part of him that just could not justify spending $133 on one piece of music. Then, adding to his frustration, he searched every site high and low for a copy of She Wants Revenge’s self-titled album, but the only listing he could find was of somebody selling their copy for $1200, not including shipping, and it wasn’t even in mint condition. The audacity. 

Frustration aside, it took him less than an hour to create a list, finishing up with four albums ranging from $13 to $30. For a finishing touch, he added the title ‘one present, four options. I love a good surprise, but only when I’ve pre-determined each potential outcome' and attached the document in an email to Magnus. 

To: Magnus Bane  
Subject: ONE!  
hello, as agreed, you are only allowed to purchase one of the options! any more, and i will be forced to reimburse you. don't tell me which one you've bought, i'll see if i can guess ;) 

Alec had never been a great lover of birthday celebrations and, if he were completely honest, he really didn’t think much more about the whole list-present fiasco. That was until, lying next to Magnus in bed one night, the man asked if he was allowed to purchase what he called a wild card as well. 

“What do you mean, a wild card?” Alec mumbled, face driven deeply into the pillow. 

“I mean, there’s an album that’s really random and it’s not on your list, but I really want to get it for you.” 

Alec pulled his face out of their mound of cushions at that, propping himself up on his elbows. “Seriously? Yeah, of course you can! I only did the list because I figured you wouldn’t know what to get, but yeah definitely!” he enthused. “Go for it!” 

Magnus smiled. “Right okay, great then.” 

“Wait, but you mean... you’re only getting the one though still, aren’t you? I mean, you don’t need to get one from the list now,” Alec clarified. 

“No, that wasn’t the deal!” Magnus protested. 

“Yes it was! If you’re buying me an album then that’s a gift! One present, that was the deal,” Alec insisted. 

“No because this isn’t a real present, this is just a wild card!” 

“Yes, that’s still a present!” Alec argued. “I’d love if it you got me something random that you thought of, but you don’t have to get something from the list as well as that, because then that’s two presents!” 

Magnus tutted. “No, sorry, not happening. I’m getting both.” 

Alec huffed, throwing himself back onto the pillows and rolling over to face the ceiling. “You are not.” 

“Oh, please, Alexander! Please just let me,” he moaned, creeping forward to rest against Alec’s chest. Staring up at him with his beautiful brown eyes, he said, “I really want to do this, Alexander. Please.” 

The eyes alone would have been enough to get him to agree, but on top of that, Alec knew he was being ridiculous. There was no need to feel guilty about accepting a gift that was willingly and enthusiastically given. It wasn’t rational to deny the people in your life the opportunity to buy you a birthday present should they wish to do so, in the same way that it wouldn’t be rational to expect a gift from somebody who could not or did not wish to buy you one. Alec would simply have to make sure that when Magnus’ birthday came round, he reciprocated the favour and maybe even superseded Magnus’ gift, just to give in to his competitive side. 

“Fine, okay,” he sighed. “You can buy two records, but pick one of the cheaper ones from the list!” 

Magnus just rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” 

“I’m excited now,” Alec beamed. “I can’t wait another two weeks!” 

“Well, you’re gonna have to,” Magnus said, fumbling around on the bed behind him for his phone. “See, I told you birthday presents are nice! Birthdays are nice, celebrating is nice, attention is nice! Why won’t you let us spoil you?” 

“I take it back, I’m not excited,” Alec lied. “Not at all.” Quickly changing the subject, he said, “You have to make sure it’s the full album you know. Read the track list, sometimes they only press one side which is just ridiculous. Oh, and sometimes they just skip off one song from the album instead of making it a two-disc one. Is it a full album you’re looking for or a single?” 

“I’ve got no idea,” Magnus replied. 

“What? You’ve got no idea?” Alec exclaimed. “How can you have no idea? You must know what it is or why would you be buying it?” 

Magnus just laughed. “I don’t have a clue what it is. Could be an album, could be a single, no idea. It just came to me and... if you don’t like it, that’s completely fine.” He paused at that. “Wait, would it mess up your collection for you if I added something random?” 

Alec shook his head. “No, not at all. If it’s from you then I’ll love it, no matter what it is. Even if I hate the music, I’ll still want it in my collection cos it’s from you,” he explained. “Not that I would hate the music, I love pretty much everything. Unless you buy me a grime album, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Oh, and not opera either.” For a moment, he thought he might have said the wrong thing, faced with total silence from the other man. He looked over to find Magnus staring at him, lips slightly ajar in a small smile. “What?” he asked. 

Letting out a long exhale, Magnus brought his head back up to rest on Alec’s chest. “You really do say the sweetest things sometimes, and I don’t even think you realise it.” 

“Oh,” Alec replied. He brought up a hand to stroke through Magnus’ hair. “Well that’s, uh... that’s good.” 

Magnus laughed. “Yeah, you really don’t realise it.” He leaned up and pressed a small kiss to Alec’s lips. “Can’t wait for your birthday now.” 

“You shouldn’t wish your life away,” Alec teased. He felt Magnus smile against his chest. 

“It doesn’t count if I’m wishing it away with you.” 

“Hey, now who’s saying the sweetest things,” Alec grumbled. 

But despite his complaints that Magnus was wishing his life away, Alec soon found himself doing very much the same thing. His birthday had fallen on a Friday this year so he had to work, but he didn’t really mind. Nobody at work knew that it was his birthday which kept the attention to a minimum. That was, except for Simon Lewis. Ignoring Alec’s repeated instructions for her to keep that piece of information to herself, Isabelle had informed Simon of the exact date and even time that Alec had been entered the world all those years ago. He dodged Simon all day but failed at the last hurdle. The younger man came bounding up like a puppy off its lead just as he and Magnus were making a beeline for the exit. Then after a tense few minutes of reminding Simon to keep his voice down, not wanting the entire office singing him a belated happy birthday on Monday morning, Alec managed to escape with his secret intact. The plan was for each of them to go their separate ways and all meet up again in a few hours, but neither he nor Magnus really wanted to do that. 

“Do you want to go back to your place and get ready?” Magnus asked. “I can give you your present later, or tomorrow, if you don’t mind.” 

Employing his consistently poor decision-making skills, Alec just shrugged. “I don’t mind either way. What would you prefer?” 

“It’s your birthday, Alexander,” Magnus reminded him. 

Alec knew what he wanted, he just couldn’t bear the thought of imposing at all. “Well, I know Max won’t mind having the place to himself for a bit. I guess I could come to yours first, if you want?” 

Magnus beamed. “I was hoping you’d say that.” 

“But what would I wear though?” Alec asked, gesturing at his cheap black trousers and plain white shirt. “Bit dull for a party this, even for me.” 

He didn’t miss the way Magnus’ eyes widened and he pulled himself up just that little bit straighter. “Oh, don’t you worry Alec. I can find you something fabulous.” One narrowing of Alec’s eyes had him correcting himself. “Fine,” he sighed. “Not fabulous, but better than this.” He pointed to the drab looking clothes that Alec had pretty much assigned to himself as a permanent work uniform. 

“Right, okay. Let’s go then,” Alec chirped, wasting no time in taking Magnus’ hand and pulling him off in the direction of home. They made their way to Magnus’ apartment, not releasing one another the entire way. Alec couldn’t quite put his finger on the word he was looking for to describe how that simple action made him feel. It wasn’t until he finally had to let go outside of Magnus’ front door that he realised what he’d been feeling; empowered. 

Ever the gentleman, Magnus pushed the door open and held it ajar for Alec, who offered him a shy smile and a thanks. Even after all these months, the smallest of things could still push butterflies deep into Alec’s stomach. He kicked off his shoes and headed straight for Magnus’ bedroom, overcome with an immediate urge to lie down. “I can’t believe I’m twenty-six,” he groaned, launching himself onto Magnus’ bed with a thump. “I’m getting so old.” 

Beside him, Magnus huffed in annoyance. “If you’re getting old Alexander, what does that make me? Bloody ancient?” 

Alec frowned. “I wouldn’t say ancient. But pretty old, yeah.” 

“Oi!” Magnus exclaimed, mock outrage in full swing. “You cheeky sod!” 

Bursting out into a deep laughter, Alec tried to dodge the oncoming pillow but Magnus was too quick. “Sorry! Sorry!” he cried out, but his grin invalidated any apology that might spill from his lips. Spinning himself in a fourty-five-degree angle, he brought his head to rest on Magnus’ torso and dangled his legs off the side of the bed. Magnus was pouting at him, but brought his hand up to Alec’s chest, nonetheless. “Don’t be mad,” Alec whispered. “I think you’re gonna make a great silver fox.” 

Magnus glowered. “Oh fuck you, Alexander.” 

Alec was quick with a quip on his tongue. “Please do. I encourage it.” 

The twitch of Magnus’ lip was all too transparent. Chancing his luck, Alec leaned in for a kiss, pleased when Magnus reciprocated. “I wish it wasn’t your birthday,” he murmured. “Then I could stay mad at you.” 

“You never stay mad at me,” Alec whispered, moving back in for another kiss. 

“Uh uh.” Magnus pulled away. “We’d better not. They’re expecting us in an hour and neither of us are ready.” 

“Yeah, takes ten minutes to get ready.” 

Magnus snorted. “You must be joking. I haven’t picked out either of our outfits yet!” 

With that, he was up and away, leaving Alec cold and lonely on the bed. He spun around to watch Magnus at work, knowing better than to try and intervene. Even if he didn’t trust Magnus to choose something that Alec could feel comfortable in, he knew that the other man had an almost magical ability to piece together incredible outfits. Alec was actually a little bit curious as to what Magnus could pull together for him. He watched amusedly as the wardrobe was raided, counting seven shirts, two dress pants, four pairs of jeans, three jackets and two t-shirts being cast onto his bed. Alec had to sit up and cross his legs just to make room. It took Magnus less than two minutes to decide on one outfit, picking out a pair of sleek navy dress pants and a fitted black t-shirt with a high neck and sleeves that came to just above the elbow. Judging by the length of the pants, Alec assumed that he was looking at Magnus’ outfit. 

It took slightly longer for the next one to come to life, with Magnus spending a good few minutes pondering over two shirts that, to Alec, couldn’t have looked more similar if they’d tried. Eventually, Magnus grabbed deep green shirt with some sort of embroidered detail on the pockets and down the seams. “Here,” he said, holding it out to Alec along with a pair of black denim jeans that looked as though they were artfully tattered, the odd patch and rip standing out here and there. Thankfully, they looked a lot less clingy than the ones Magnus usually wore. “I bought them to be baggy on me, so I always turn them up. Let’s see how they fit on you.” 

Alec wasn’t surprised that they fit like a glove. Magnus had a sixth sense when it came to anything fashion related. He was actually quite pleased when he looked in the mirror, which didn’t happen often at all. “I’ve got to admit,” he said. “We look pretty good together.” 

Magnus grinned. “Pretty good? You must be joking. We look astonishing.” 

“Yeah,” Alec laughed. “That too.” 

“Do you want to open your presents now or later?” 

Alec took a quick glance at his phone. “We’ve got twenty minutes till we need to be there. Guess we could do it now?” 

Magnus grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that, too.” He darted off into the living room and Alec followed, somewhat nervously. “Here,” he said, holding up two brown square boxes. “I didn’t wrap them because I know you hate how wasteful it is.” Propping himself on his tiptoes, he leaned in close and pressed a chaste kiss to Alec’s lips. “Happy birthday.” 

“Thanks Magnus,” Alec whispered, before pulling away and rooting around in Magnus’ draw for a pair of scissors. Two minutes of disorderly hacking later and he’d managed to free the first record. “Magnus! Oh my... is this... this is... Magnus!” 

“I remembered you telling me about how your family used to have it playing for every trip you ever went on,” Magnus explained. “I wasn’t even sure that it’d been printed on vinyl, but I found one. Sorry it isn’t new.” 

Alec glanced up at him before his eyes were drawn immediately back to the record in his hands. “Don’t apologise. I can’ believe you found this. They’re all here!” He traced his fingers over the purple cover of Country Scene, smiling at the two tattered patches along the top of the sleeve, but the rest of it was well intact. This record had clearly been used and loved by a previous owner, as it should have been. He propped it up on the table as he stood, moving over to pull Magnus into a hug. “Thanks,” he murmured. “Really.” 

Alec went to pull away but Magnus held him tight, stroking a hand down his back. “See, told you birthdays are lovely.” 

“Oh whatever,” Alec laughed. “You’re only getting me one next year, okay?” 

“Okay,” Magnus agreed, finally releasing Alec from his hold. “Go on then, let’s get the next one open.” 

The second package opened quicker, with Alec seemingly haven gotten the hang of opening the heavily taped up cardboard. “The Strokes! I was secretly hoping it would be this one,” he admitted. “I mean, not that I have a favourite, of course. They’re all too good to choose from, but I’ve been listening to this one an awful lot lately so it seemed quite fitting.” 

Alec began grabbing the discarded cardboard and scraps of now useless tape, but Magnus simply waved him off. “Don’t bother, leave it.” 

“I can’t just leave it,” Alec said. 

“Of course you can! You’re not allowed to clean on your birthday, it’s against the rules,” Magnus argued, taking Alec’s hand and pulling him up. 

Frowning at the mess around them, Alec asked, “Really, are you sure?” 

“Shh,” Magnus whispered, hovering his finger gently over Alec’s lips. “Yes, I’m sure.” He pulled him out of the living room and into the hallway, apparently operating an out of side, out of mind theory. “Right then,” he said. “You ready to go?” 

Alec smiled. “Ready when you are.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: long ramblings about my birthday and vinyl that nobody wants to read.
> 
> The list that Alec made in this does actually exist exactly as described. The 'wild card' conversation was also inspired by one I had with my mum. I guessed yesterday that she'd bought me ABBA... turns out I was wrong. She bought me the Country Scene album that we used to listen to every year when we'd go on holiday and drive for hours and hours through the night cos we were too poor / tight to pay for a hotel. We always talk about finding the old CD because it's gotten lost somewhere but now she's bought me the vinyl :(((( it was so cute I could have cried.
> 
> Like Magnus, she refused to only buy the wild card and not get anything from the list (we debated for a while but I eventually conceded, turns out she's more stubborn than I am which is spectacular) and also bought Fleetwood Mac's Rumours and The Strokes' Is This it. Then my brother bought be The Killers' Hot Fuss which is so lovely because I'm pretty sure I didn't buy him a present last year oops... and my friend has just bought me both Billie Eilish LP's... the WWAFAWDG one is my first picture disc :(((( I think I'm going to cry.
> 
> I absolutely love all of these records and now I have nine in my collection! I'm so grateful. I have been actively forcing myself not to buy any recently because I have no money but I'm not sure how much longer my determination will last because I found a record called 'Hear Me Out' by Reignwolf that I think may be one of my favourite things that I've ever heard, and the album cover is cool as hell which makes it even harder to resist!
> 
> I'm on the edge, my bank account is going so suffer, I'm officially no longer a teenager.
> 
> That's all.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Much love, Ash x


End file.
